Let’s Talk Ego…

So, you are saying to yourself I know all about the Ego!  Well that is what your ego is telling you.  LOL.

Your ego is part of who you are it helps shape your identity and defines how you see the world and act towards the world.  The ego is personal by nature and shapes our reactions and preferences so that we can define who we are, what we like or not, and how we inspire to be.  Our ego plays another important role as it aids us in sustaining the needed separateness from the very vastness that is part of us and everything in the universe.  It holds us still in a universe that is continually moving.  In its highest appreciation the ego is our constriction and provides for the continual cycle of life and death.  Ego helps the physical experience keep on keeping on.  I have found that there is no getting rid of ones ego there is only taming or transforming the ego’s overdrive status.  As what you resists persists.  We need the ego to function at this stage in human evolution but we can eliminate some of our personal and global suffering if we chose as individuals to understand and transform our thinking.  On an everyday lighter note:

Here is something to think about (lightly).  From the ego’s point of view (and there are many) there are victims (people who need your help) or unknowing (people you need to teach).   So with this you determine what you are going to do.  Will you help someone or will you teach someone.  How strongly you identify with these points of view will affect how you react to others in your life.  It will effect how you will educate yourself and how you will build bonds with others.  Both approaches serve the ego’s need to be useful, purpose driven and connected.

Humans are continually expanding.  I would say that to expand the ego’s view one must consider that the ME of the ego can become merged with the WE of the soul.  When this starts to happen, the ego’s thought process changes and once seen as victims become viewed as those that will become compassionately self-responsible and those unknowing become those not known yet.  This shift in thinking is incredibly liberating because all acts come from total acceptance thereby eliminating any need for being responsible for the results or attached to any outcome.

An example to ponder.  Please note that this is a made up story and no real people were use.  Also, the example is not set up to prove any specific point outside of choosing to see things differently.  It was not written to identify any specific point of view or cause.  I did not write it to make comments on the specifics of the story it is just an example of causes and effects.  nothing more or less.     ERP

To break these patterns we need to bring ourselves out of our ego driven responses and introduce some new ways of thinking. 

An example:  Person One is taking in a lunch tray to Person Two.  Person One is in a physical condition that disturbs  Person Two.  Person Two becomes verbally angry and does not want to be around Person One.  Person Two becomes tense and yells for Person One to leave and explains there aversion to Person One’s physical condition.

Person One is shaken by this chosen behavior and begins to cry asking why person one is treating them like this.  ? What have they done to make this person so angry.  Person One’s ego identifies with the base energy of Person Two ego driven energy which is shouting out anger, fear and a type of uncontrollable/unknowingness.  Person Two personalization of Person One’s physical condition is affecting the task needing to be done (making her job difficult to do) this compounds possible feelings of being emotionally victimized.  While Person’s Two choice of reaction is isolating them further from others and continues a loop feeding of their unresolved issue.

Why?  It is a good question and sometimes we can get an answer as to why that persons feels the way they do. Sometimes we can instantly put ourselves in their place to understand why they may react a certain way and in that understanding deflect at the time and move on. Thereby breaking the view. 

Person Two: Their Part.  To change a behavior or attitude one must be willing and able to talk about it, acknowledge it, use self-discretion and learn to exercise compassionate acceptance.  Person Two must do this work to be at peace with themselves or they will continue to deflect what they have not resolved.  his part not Sue’s but if they can’t do these things then they should strive to the saying “just because you can doesn’t mean you should”.  Ones anger is one’s own- that is why it is yours!

Sue’s Why response/action:  The question of “why is someone doing this to me” also has value but for our purposes we can flip this around and say “Why am I reacting this way”.  Why does what this person thinks of my condition bother me so much? How can I change my attitude towards it.  I am not a victim I am me and that is ok with me.  Maybe an ego thought slips in like “screw you” (just a bit-we are all human and a little bit of that anger sticks to us – doesn’t it?)  But we know enough to move on and that is what counts.

Wrap up: 

Sue spoke to her boss and they worked out a schedule whereby Sue doesn’t deliver the tray to Sam as Sam is not capable to change his reactions and Sue is valued as to not be subjected to Sam’s inability to change.  Sue is not excluded from serving Sam she simply chooses to not be in the company of those that continue in this pattern of verbalization.  This story is very loosely based on real life situations.  Sam in the story is clinically diagnosed mental/emotional issues some age related and can’t grasp concepts outside of immediate responses. The purpose of the story was to identify how we can change our thinking from old patterns to new ones.  Nothing more or less.

In my personal life, if I allow myself to be thrown off by the words, deeds or attitudes of others I attempt to immediately activate my deflector and my reflector shields (sometimes it takes me a while) so that I can neutralize with a compassionate response or hold a safe space for myself and then reflect back with love (give it to God).  I mean literally, I picture a big picture of Mother Mary, or Jesus or Buddha or whoever works with you like a hologram over the person(s).  Either I see a change or simply move out of their way.  Either way the stuff remains with them so that God or a higher power can do the rest.   What I am saying is sometimes things are just not your Mess.    ERP

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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